


Losing It

by WrittenInMyPants (orphan_account)



Category: Kirkspock - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, spirk - Fandom
Genre: Buttsex, M/M, im so sorry, silly dick names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/WrittenInMyPants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone made a list of certain words you should not under any circumstances use instead of the word “penis” in a fanfic. I took the challenge and even used a few words of my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing It

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [silly dick names that are a no-no](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/58179) by the tumblr user who created the post. 



“Captain, you wanted to see me?” said Spock.

“Yes, but not just you; I wanna see your love stick.” Jim licked his lips erotically. Spock blushed pe[nis]a-green, and it look kind of weird, but it was also really cute.

“Captain Jim, I must confess that I have beat the meat to the thought of your schlong.” Spock moaned at the sexually satisfying memories.

“That's so hot, Mister Spock. Wanna know a secret about my doinker?”

“Ah!” Spock gasped, feeling his giant bologna pony jump in his too-tight regulation pants. “Yes, please.”

“Well, my ding dong has been sucked by nineteen different species, nine of which were male. You know which species I have next on my Suck The Captain Winky list?”

“I do not know, Jim. Who is next up for sucking your divine rod?”

“A Vulcan. A male Vulcan sucking my yogurt slinger.” Spock almost jizzed in his pants, his stinky pickle taking interest in their dirty talk of dickles.

Jim let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, kissing Spock passionately on his white lips [pale face, breathing in the snowflakes of Spock's Vulcan sizzle skin]. Spock licked Jim's lips, penetrating his mouth forcefully. Jim accepted the intrusion, their tongues battling for dominance.

Spock placed a hand over Jim's love muscle, Spock moaning and gasping into Jim's mouth the sweetest words the captain had ever heard, “Allow me the honor of vacuum-headding your 100% all-beef thermometer.”

Spock undid Jim's pants, pulling the to the captain's knees and cupped his wankie through his red silk panties. “Fuck,” Jim yelped, hands rubbing in circles around Spock's nipples—but not on them, that'd be gay. “That feel s- so good on my magic wand.”  
The did the buttsex, and Jim couldn't handle Spock's power drill tearing up that ass[hole and anus]. They both came at the same time, each other's names on their lips. It was hot and sweaty and quick, Spock's DNA rifle shooting expertly unto Jim's prostate, like a water gun at a carnival hitting the center of a target. It went on for several minutes. Jim was in tears by the end of it.

“Sorry I didn't suck your Starship Cumsurprise, T'hy'la.”

“This was way better, Spock. Thank you.”


End file.
